#AStarForCarrie & #OccupyFamilyGuy: The Road to Everywhere

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Hi, I’m Kristin Grady.

Who are you today?

I keep going to Dylan Brody’s class at the Tao Comedy Studio because the fact that he’s Seth MacFarlane in disguise is further confirmed every time I see him. Plus, it’s good for my writing. I feel safe enough in this conclusion that I’m unafraid to confront Dylan about his true identity. In Saturday’s class, he got a little agitated when I insisted on my certainty of him being Seth MacFarlane in a latex mask.

Instead of leaning back, acquiescing, I leaned forward and looked at the fear behind his color-contact-lensed eyes. Dylan is a manifestation of Seth’s fears. Dylan can get away with being less famous, less wealthy, more intellectual, have more integrity, being less Seth MacFarlane. Dylan is protection from the fame built up around Seth’s name and the association with Family Guy, the rebellious mind-baby that made him who people think he is.

Seth WANTS to be exposed as Dylan. The fear I saw behind those honey-brown lenses wasn’t a fear of being known as a liar, as all satirists are required to be. I saw the sad, chocolate-brown eyes of a trained circus bear, howling from within “HELP ME!” I recalled that expression from an early Family Guy gag where Tom Green is sucking on a cow’s teat while wearing a tutu, turns to the camera and says “Does anybody like me yet? Can I stop this?!” Haven’t we all been there some days?

I want to set him free. I want Seth to feel comfortable peeling off the Dylan mask and tell him it’s okay to just be a bear. Seth’s Robin-Williams-level acting talent has gone unacknowledged for long enough, his astounding artistic abilities deserve WAY more recognition, and he should be allowed to be as brilliant as I know he is. If he chooses to take off the mask, does that mean Dylan dies? I don’t think so. Tony Clifton has a twitter account and Andy Kaufman’s been dead since before the internet.

It takes a lot of guts to transition from animated comedies to a gorgeous meta-mindfuck of a show like The Orville. I wrote The Voyage of the Curie script back in March, hoping Seth would buy it for season 3. I haven’t given up on that either. The script introduces a character whose dreams manifest into reality. If we help each other, the possibilities are infinite.

Dylan suggested I write a spec script for #OccupyFamilyGuy when I mentioned a gestating plot synopsis in my previous blog, but that’s as far as I’m going with the idea until a full staff of female writers are hired for the episode. I can’t keep working for my favorite shows for free. #OccupyFamilyGuy has been a means to get me through the Fuzzy Door, gain a celebrity endorsement for #AStarForCarrie, and get more lady-writers working.

Writers in Hollywood are still predominantly men. Women need men on our sides in order to level the playing field. Seth would be making a profound statement of his commitment to positive changes for women in film and television by lending the platform to us.

What’s in it for Seth? Besides the goldmine within my imagination? Seth’s public perception isn’t all positive, but neither is mine. I don’t know if I can change that simply by loving him, but I can appreciate the beauty of a vintage station wagon, even if it’s covered in dust. I’m no mechanic, but I can grab a bucket and a sponge if you give me a hose… I don’t mind getting my hands dirty if there’s worthwhile work to be done.

Fear has kept me from being happy all my life. I’ve been living in the darkness of my own anxieties while pining for the light. It takes more than just a wish, more than just Hope, or magic journals to get where you want to be. It takes some HARD FUCKING WORK, which I have been doing FOR FREE for far too long out of fear of slamming doors. I keep hearing doors slam all over this apartment building and I have to insist to my own subconscious that those slams are not my fault. It’s a learned sickness that keeps US trapped in fear. I’m “bending the universe to my will” as Dylan Brody would say, and I’m doing it despite doors slamming everywhere. Learn from me. Be yourself.

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