From my Journal
August 4th, 2019
“I try not to hate things. Hate always comes back on you. Extreme love can do that too. People get jealous when you love just one person. Seth MacFarlane gets all my romantic/sexual love and men shut down when I tell them I won’t be persuaded away. The only thing that could make me stop loving Seth is him telling me he doesn’t love me. I’m afraid of that happening because he’s too afraid of me, he’s too afraid he’s not good enough for me, or he’s afraid of getting in trouble for loving me. The only way to make me seem not crazy is if he comes out and says he’s Dylan Brody and all of my blogs are telling the truth. He’ll never say that. His lawyers won’t let him. He has to protect the empire he’s built up since age 26. That’s more important to him than people believing me.
A name has power when you speak it. It has MORE power when you’re forbidden to speak it. Like when they bleep out “God” when people say “God Damnit” on tv. I don’t want to stop saying Seth MacFarlane. I love the name Seth, it’s like Sex with a lisp. I need practice saying MACFarlane because it must annoy him when people say “McFarlane” as much as it annoys me when people pronounce my surname “Brady”. I cry out “Seth MacFarlane” every time I make myself come… Can they stop me from saying that?”
I have four days before my court date where I have to defend my plea of Not Guilty of criminal trespassing. I was arrested outside of Hairy Portal Productions. Seth owns the building according to Google. Technically, I was “trespassing” on his property (even though I was arrested on the public sidewalk). Kevin the security guard made a citizen’s arrest on behalf of Seth’s production company. I have to repeat to myself every day “I was arrested on a public sidewalk for trespassing” in order to resist the societal gaslighting that tells me I’m guilty of a crime I did not commit. I wanted to get my ideas through the door. I wanted #AStarForCarrie and #OccupyFamilyGuy to happen because they could both help a lot of people. I have written scripts I believe Seth would love. I love Seth MacFarlane. All of that was so threatening to his business, I had to spend three days in jail?
I’m not guilty. If I have to go to court and defend myself (with the help of a very over-worked public defender) against these charges, that means Seth is casting himself as the villain in my story. I don’t want him to be the villain. I want him to be the hero I’ve needed all along. When I was a kid, I always got mad at Buttercup for pushing Westley down that hill. “Why don’t you recognize his eyes?! His voice!?” My inner 3-year-old screamed at her. The mask came off when she pushed him down the hill, but it was him yelling “As you wish” on the way down that made her realize that was her true love. She jumped down the hill after him.
Seth has four days to cast himself as the hero. I saw a YouTube video made by a lawyer in Washington State that said the owner of the business can drop the trespassing charge. I’m asking Seth MacFarlane to do that, please understand that I meant you and your business no harm. I want to make your art, make your life better. Kevin didn’t understand that, but I hope you do… Seth MacFarlane.