The Wolf, one of Seth MacFarlane’s characters, sent me a message on Facebook today. He said he hopes I get a star on the walk of fame. I DON’T WANT A FUCKING STAR! I want Carrie Fisher to get a star because that would make a statement that women who shape our society with their minds deserve the same recognition as men. The star itself is kinda pointless. It’s a status symbol, but the lack of Carrie’s star bothered me enough that I started this crusade back in May and every single day since then, I’ve been thinking of new ways to make it happen. Carrie’s star will be there forever, they haven’t even removed Bill Cosby’s star and the HCC even made a statement about it. The legacy I want to create is the nonprofit that gives creative people a living wage to make a difference. I never met Carrie Fisher, but from what I know about her, I believe she would value that more than a star.
Most of June, I was walking up and down Hollywood Boulevard with a sign and a petition, collecting signatures from people who believe Carrie Fisher aka Princess Leia should get a star. Some people would say “You want a star?” Because I was dressed as Princess Leia. “No,” I responded. “I’m just dressed like her. I want Carrie to get a star.” That’s when they signed the petition.
Over 3,000 people put their hand signatures down on the #AStarForCarrie petition. A lot of them were little kids. I would tell them “When Princess Leia gets her Star, you get to say you helped!” If I give up on this project, I make myself a liar to all those starry-eyed children. I don’t have it in me to do that.
One night while I was out petitioning, a dude got a little too close to grabbing my boob, so I had to smack his wrist with my clipboard. I felt bad about smacking him (sounded like it hurt) but he shouldn’t have tried to grab me. I walked away and continued petitioning. The donations started to dwindle as my enthusiasm waned. I handed out socks, vitamins, and granola bars to the homeless people I met while petitioning. I asked one homeless guy on a bench if he needed anything. He looked me up and down, said “Fuck you, bitch. What do you care?” I was so shocked by that answer, I just walked away. I gave a pair of socks to the next homeless guy I saw, just to prove that one guy didn’t ruin it for me.
By the end of June, I was running out of money. I had Kevin Smith’s signature on the petition and he let me pitch my project on his podcast! I recognized Pauly Shore’s voice while I was walking down Hollywood Boulevard and he signed it too! Neither of them donated money, but some of Kevin’s fans did. I didn’t ask them to donate because I thought their recognizable names would be enough to help people believe in me. I knew I needed another powerful name to put down on this petition, so after weeks of calling, emailing, begging the nice folks at Seth MacFarlane’s office to get his signature on the #AStarForCarrie petition, on July 1st, I decided to go to his office.
Before I even walked up to the door, I met Kevin the security guard. He said, “Are you Kristin?” I was dressed as Princess Leia that first day, so it was nice to be recognized in costume.
“Yes, I have this petition, I was hoping…” I said before Kevin cut me off.
“You can’t be here,” Kevin replied.
“I was hoping Seth would…” I attempted to continue.
“Seth said no,” Kevin said.
“I don’t believe you have the authority to say that,” I stated, a little annoyed by his brusque tone.
“Doesn’t matter, if you don’t go away we’ll call the cops,” Kevin said, I think I remember him smiling. I left without a fuss that first day and went to the Starbucks down the block, hoping Seth’s dickish gatekeeper was the problem and he would meet me in a public place if I tweeted about it. Maybe Seth was scared of me. I’m not sure what I did wrong, so I kept coming back to his office and that’s when #OccupyFamilyGuy was born. #OccupyFamilyGuy is another petition that suggests the producers of Family Guy hire an all-female staff of writers for one episode next season. I assumed Seth would like that idea and if I kept showing up, kept showing how much I believe in both of these causes, he would sense the Moxie is strong in me and give me a few minutes of his time to pitch my ideas.
On July 22nd, 2019, Kevin the security guard made a citizen’s arrest for “trespassing” and I spent three days in jail. Kevin didn’t have to do that, but he sure wanted to. I could see it in his smug smirk. I haven’t been back there since. Going to jail once was enough. I kept telling myself that it was Kevin who had me arrested, maybe Seth had nothing to do with it, maybe there’s still a chance he will listen to my ideas.
Seth owns the building outside which I was arrested for trespassing. From laws I’ve Googled, it seems like Seth could drop the trespassing charge and let me get on with my life. Obviously, if Seth stands by the charge, thinks I deserved to be in jail for being too persistent in my ideas, that means he felt threatened by me. I don’t want to make anyone feel threatened. I feel threatened constantly, but I go about my day because I need to survive so my Art can thrive.
I’m not sure what’s going to happen to me on August 8th when I defend my plea of Not Guilty of trespassing. I know in my heart that I had no malicious intent when I kept showing up to try to get Seth’s signatures on my petitions and maybe talk about some other ideas too. I have to try to call my public defender today and work with her on expressing that I was there working for women’s rights. I was on a public sidewalk, exercising my first amendment right to speak out about my experiences as they were happening when I was arrested for “trespassing”. That is NOT right. I am NOT guilty.
I’m afraid of going to court. The fear is giving me flashbacks of going to my parents’ arduous divorce hearings as a child. My dad was always so happy when he won… because he had money to pay a lawyer, my mom lost everything. I don’t have anything to lose, except for my free speech. Can they make me stop petitioning for #OccupyFamilyGuy? Can they make me take down my blogs about Seth MacFarlane and the work I’ve done to make a difference and survive? What can’t they do? They have all the money, I have nothing because I gave everything within myself to these projects and now there’s a chance I could go BACK to jail if they feel like shutting me up. I don’t want that to happen. I shouldn’t have gone to jail the first time.
The anxiety is making it hard to daydream, which takes me away from the depressive state I’m constantly drifting through… but I can’t help but fantasize that I’ll get a call from Seth MacFarlane (or his people) tomorrow, asking to meet with me about dropping the charges. I want to meet Seth MacFarlane, but I can’t make him. If he’s that afraid of me, that intimidated by me, I don’t want to meet him. I don’t want to make anyone anxious. I exist in a constant state of anxiety and I STILL don’t want to cause Seth any harm.
Going to jail made me angry, mostly at Kevin the Security guard, but I forgave him for just doing his job the best he knew how. If Seth feels so scared of me that he had to have me locked up, I’m going to stop trying to meet with him. I’m NOT giving up on #OccupyFamilyGuy though. That petition is now online and it will continue whether I’m there or not. #AStarForCarrie is my baby and #OccupyFamilyGuy is her baby. I won’t let my babies and grandbabies die because fear has turned some men to the dark side.
I’ve already started working on the next sub-project of #AStarForCarrie, titled #FortunateSon. Sarah Silverman tweeted that she would be good in a psychological thriller a few months ago and within days, I had a plot synopsis for a film written. Just based on that, Judy Gold tweeted she’s in to play the part of “Jeannie”! I’ve been studying films I want to influence the script, “Rosemary’s Baby”, “Robin Hood: Men in Tights” (Up next, “The Great Dictator” and “Last Action Hero”– which was doctored by Carrie Fisher) and putting my notes online to show people I’m still working on these projects despite pending criminal charges, the fact that there’s less than a dollar in my bank account, and all I have left for food is wilting broccoli and peanut butter. I’ve already written a full treatment and I’m going to start writing the script today, but I would love Sarah’s and Judy’s input on the script once it’s written. I want this project to be born in the minds of brilliant women, like Carrie Fisher was…
The point of Fortunate Son is to show how dangerous white supremacists are, even WITH mental healthcare, with or without guns. Every time there’s a mass shooting by a white supremacist, I feel protective pangs in my heart for my immigrant neighbors, my Jewish friends and family, and any innocent bystanders who get caught in the crossfire. The only power I have is my writing. No one believes in that power until I get paid. I’ve set up a crowdfund for Fortunate Son, not to raise money for the production (that will be the next step), but to give the people a chance to be a part of it by paying me to write the script.
I want Sarah Silverman to believe in me. I adore her writing, her acting, and who she is as a person. If I can get her to believe in me, I believe anything is possible.
I just realized it’s my dead dad’s birthday. Even though he was a bipolar drug addict who tried to ruin my mom’s life… I love that crazy son of a bitch. He would have been 63. I’m still glad he was born. I wish he hadn’t drunk and smoked himself to death, but there was nothing I could do to stop that. I’m putting these emotions into my Art. I have two days before I’m either in jail or found Not Guilty.
My little sister’s birthday is August 9th. If I have to go to court, I’m going to make sure to memorize her number so if I go to jail, I can call her. I hope I don’t go to jail. I hope Seth’s people just drop the charges. I get it! You guys are not ready for my ideas! I have other ideas and other people who WANT to work with me. Don’t ruin that by sending me to jail just because you have money and I don’t. Please?
If anyone watching/reading this wants to feed me something other than broccoli stems and peanut butter, my papal email is firstname.lastname@example.org. Please help?