#AStarForCarrie: Happy Birthday Lil’ Sis

I was five-years-old when Lil’ Sis was born at home, in our basement in Richmond, VA. I was told to sit on the shag carpet and the Nancy the Midwife placed this tiny human bundle in my arms. Lil’ Sis looked up at me and her eyes seemed to recognize me, dark in the dimly lit basement. Someone put an early 90’s video camera on me and asked what I thought of her.

“She has black eyes. I LOVE HER!” 5-year-old me responded. Lil’ Sis has blue eyes and brown hair like my Dad had, unlike Dad was able to be, she’s an extremely hard worker. 28-years-old today, she’s the Assistant General Manager of a high-end restaurant in Richmond, VA. I visited her restaurant with my parents in 2017 and we got there before she did. The place was a bit of a wreck when we showed up. Waiters and bussers running amok, tables loaded with dirty dishes, and customers looking annoyed. Within five minutes of Lil’ Sis’s arrival for her shift, she had that place running like a ballet. Standing only 5’2’’, she commands authority with grace and confidence. I was simply amazed that tiny bundle grew up into such a powerful young woman and pride gleamed in my eyes as she whipped her crew into shape like a ship captain. I admire her strength and professionalism.

Yesterday, after getting out of court, I had to panhandle for food and bus money. A nice guy named Kevin asked if he gave me $20, what would I do with it? I told him I would buy food and give away what I didn’t need. Being a writer is a lot like being a real estate agent. You don’t get paid until you sell something. I’m working on a script titled #FortunateSon and I set up a crowdfund in order to give the people a chance to be a part of a movie by paying me to write it. I’ve tried emailing, calling, going to places where I wanted to sell my writing and I got nothing but slamming doors and thrown in jail. This is my latest idea for getting paid to write. What would I do with that money? I would offer Lil’ Sis a job.

Within weeks of moving to LA, I set up my own business, Imagination for Sale, LLC, with no experience running a business whatsoever. Trump is president with no experience in politics, so it didn’t seem impossible that I would succeed. Living in LA has NOT been a vacation. I’m usually up by 6:30 am and I don’t go to sleep until after midnight. I write seven days a week. I was out petitioning for #AStarForCarrie before I realized walking up and down Hollywood Boulevard in a braless Princess Leia costume gets me not enough money to live on and way more sexual harassment than I can handle.

I need help. Lil’ Sis is the first person I want to hire as a full-time employee of Imagination for Sale. I’ve seen her managing people, handling money, and being pleasant with customers. Most important of all, I trust her. She’s always been on my side and she would be an excellent business manager and a much better Princess Leia than me. She’s closer to Carrie Fisher’s height and she wouldn’t need a wig. I want to go out petitioning again, but I want to dress as a female Darth Vader in platform boots, carrying a lightsaber and making sure nobody messes with Lil’ Sis… although I think she can handle herself, for the most part, there’s safety in numbers. She could train more people and we can start the #AStarForCarrie Nonprofit. We could work together on giving creative folks a living wage to make a difference.

I need money in order to offer Lil’ Sis a job. The most valuable thing I own is my writing. That’s why I named my company “Imagination for Sale”. My imagination is a movie goldmine, but no one believes that until I sell a script. I’m giving everyone a chance to be a part of getting Carrie Fisher a star by crowdfunding #FortunateSon. Over 3,000 people signed the #AStarForCarrie petition by hand, but not that many people donated. I appreciate the support, but I’m forced to live in this capitalist society, therefore I’m forced to sell my Art. I was on Kevin Smith’s Smodcast and several of his fans donated. I’d love it if Kevin Smith donated to the crowdfund, but if he showed his support for the cause by retweeting, helping promote this ultimately altruistic cause, I could probably raise the money to offer Lil’ Sis a job in no time AND survive while writing this script.

“Oh, if only we had their numbers!” -Cardinal Glick (George Carlin) in Dogma.

I have almost 1,800 followers on Twitter. I’ve said it before, I need a name that grabs attention, I need someone with PULL to really make #AStarForCarrie happen. I need more celebrity endorsements of this cause. Mark Hamill has liked a lot of my tweets about #AStarForCarrie, how about a retweet? Patton Oswalt retweeted a conservative guy who insulted him last year and that guy got his surgery funded. Seth MacFarlane’s support would be great, but I think he’s afraid of me. I wish he wasn’t. I want Sarah Silverman to star in #FortunateSon and if all these men fail to see the value in this cause, I hope Sarah is brave enough to believe in my writing. Judy Gold already said she’s in! How about a retweet, Judy? I love you!

Regardless of celebrity status, it’s up to the fans to make this happen. Al Yankovic’s fans worked for over a decade to get him a star on the Walk of Fame. I believe we can do this for Carrie in WAY less time. If you believe in #AStarForCarrie, if you want to be part of a movie by investing in a script, if you want to see me and Lil’ Sis back out there in costumes, collecting signatures and making a difference, please like! Share! Donate! If we all band together, we can make this happen. Join the rebel alliance! May the Force be with us all!

Oh, and Happy Birthday Morgan! I love you and I’m so glad you were born! Be safe out there…

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